Chapter One helps you
learn everything you need to know about eating disorders. It is
important to become educated about these diseases both for yourself and
for your child, who needs to learn what you know.
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Chapter One explains that eating disorders are not about food. That
they are disorders of thinking and coping, of behaviors and feeling,
of lifestyle and relationships.
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This chapter dispels the many myths surrounding these diseases. The
most pernicious myth is that parents are the cause of these diseases
in their children.
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See page 211 to learn more about the infinite wisdom of the human
body.
Chapter Two assists
you in recognizing disease in its earliest stages. This is key to eating
disorder prevention or bringing about the most timely and effective
cure.
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This chapter discusses how to distinguish eating pathology from an
otherwise benign “quirk,” and how to recognize the earliest signs of
a disorder-in-the-making through so many diagnostic “smoke screens.”
This chapter looks at your own capacity to accept the reality of an
eating disorder in your child.
Chapter Three describes
how best to intervene with your child, how to listen to really hear what
(s)he says and feels, and how to deal with his or her confusion,
resistance or denial. Of particular interest in this chapter are the
exercise on pages 71and 72 (Recognizing What Your Child Considers
Supportive) and the sample dialogue between parent and child contained
in pages 83-85. The latter allows the parent to anticipate and rehearse
what he or she needs to convey during a most critical intervention. This
chapter also describes how to deal with potential power struggles and
supplies options in the face of a child’s non-compliance.
Chapter Four discusses
everything you need to know about treatment approaches, modalities,
milieus, and options. It discusses what therapy is about and how change
happens, goal setting and problem-solving, what therapists do and how
they do it. It describes what you and your child can anticipate and
expect from treatment, preparing you for the critical treatment process
so that you can prepare your child.
Chapter Five empowers
parents to know what they are looking for in professional help and to be
assured that they get it. Pages 136-139 help you to conduct an effective
initial telephone interview in your search for the best assistance for
your child and family. It describes the composition and function of the
treatment team, of which you as parents should be a part. This chapter
offers suggestions about how to talk to your child’s professionals, what
to ask, expect and demand of them. It red flags problems to beware of in
choosing professionals, strategies for dealing with insurance companies,
and tips for evaluating the success of the therapeutic process.
Chapter Six describes
the unique and seemingly random and unpredictable eating disorder
recovery process. Contrary to what many think, 80% of people who are
treated early and effectively recover from eating disorders and stay
recovered. Recovering from an eating disorder is a complex and
many-faceted process which defies expectations. Having recovered from an
eating disorder marks the beginning of emotional maturity and the
capacity for a fulfilled existence. When your child recovers from an
eating disorder, he or she is no longer a victim. It signifies increased
options and the patient’s capacity for responsible problem-solving. See
pages 194-195.
Chapter Seven addresses
the phenomenon that eating disorder recovery is normally a prolonged
process that is highly susceptible to stalls and derailments. This
chapter advises parents about how to evaluate and troubleshoot treatment
and recovery glitches and problems, and how to intervene with child and
professionals to facilitate healing. It also discusses the significant
role that siblings play.
Appendixes:
Make special note of the appendix devoted to the eating disordered child
who is going off to college, as well as to the comprehensive section
listing resources which are for the benefit of parents, patients, and
professionals.
Fortunately for all of us, there is a lot of room for forgiveness when
it comes to loving and well-intentioned parenting. None of us are
perfect; we all make mistakes. The lessons we learn from our mistakes
are often the most valuable that life has to offer. Our gravest
problems, however, arise less from our mistakes, but more in not
responding to them in appropriate, effective and proactive ways. Herein
lies our most poignant modeling for our children.
The following is a directory to a discussion of specific issues that are
of particular interest to patients and parents:
Understanding eating disorders
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Dispelling myths and misconceptions p. 4-7
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What eating disorders are and what they are not p. 7-26
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Causes and Triggers p. 26-36
Recognizing Disease
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Seeing beyond smoke screens p. 40-49
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Helping parents to help their children p. 49-56
Confronting the child confronting disease
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Dealing with resistance p. 72
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Listening for feelings p. 76-81
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What do I say, when and how? p. 83
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Becoming educated: The body’s infinite wisdom p. 211
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Rethinking power struggles p. 89-91
Understanding treatment options
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What happens in treatment. Demystifying the treatment process. p. 92
– 110
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Understanding treatment approaches and philosophies p. 110-117
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Treatment modes p. 117-127
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The Medication Alternative 123-127
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Treatment Milieus p. 128-132. Hospitalization v. outpatient therapy,
day treatment programs
Working with the professional team 140-151
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What kind of therapist do I need? p. 140
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What to look for in a nutritionist. p. 144
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Insurance coverage. Getting the most out of the system. p. 139, 163,
232
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Parents as members of the team p. 162
Recovery
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What recovery is about p. 171-193
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What recovery and change looks like p. 95, 208
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What should happen in the first session? p. 165
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Parental limit setting is okay. p. 232
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Parental influence on disease onset p. 214
Overcoming Recovery Setbacks
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Measuring progress p. 207-210
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Facilitating, troubleshooting a stalled recovery p. 210-238
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The choice to remain ill p. 238-242
Appendices
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Taking an Eating Disorder to College p. 250-254
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Resources p. 255-263
When Your Child Has An Eating Disorder: A Step-by-Step Workbook for
Parents and Other Caregivers is
a book for parents, as well as for children, for patients and their
siblings. Children at a loss for how to explain their condition to their
parents may use the book to inform and educate their parents, just as
parents may use it to educate and inform their children. Similarly, the
book can be used by spouses for their partners, who may need help in
explaining a complex disease and/or healing process. This is also a book
that serves as an invaluable resource for physicians and mental health
professionals, for patient educators, nutritionists and school
personnel.
Consider asking your child to respond to the questionnaires and tests
independent of your own efforts. Note where there might be discrepancies
in perception and don’t hesitate to use those discrepancies to your
advantage, as incentives or jumping off points for dialogue, problem
definition, and problem resolution.